This episode dives into the challenges of balancing entrepreneurship's demands while embracing parenthood and family. Our host, Tan Wilson, talks to Martha Ellison, President & CEO of M923.
This episode dives into the challenges of balancing entrepreneurship's demands while embracing parenthood and family. Our host, Tan Wilson, talks to Martha Ellison, President & CEO of M923.
You can watch the full episode here
Welcome to the Optimize Podcast brought to you by VisibleThread. We bring you the best and latest insights for everything from government contracting on topics such as BD, capture, proposal management, and business writing.
Every series of Optimize is hosted by an expert in their field who brings their expertise and real-life experience to each episode. This podcast series is hosted by Tan Wilson, President of Entellect. In each episode, Tan will be joined by thought leaders and industry experts as they dive into proposal development, government contracting, entrepreneurship, and bid strategies.
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00:00:00:00 - 00:00:34:03
Martha Ellison
The most growth and learning that happens is through failures, is through mistakes that happen. Obviously, nobody wants to make the big, huge mistake. But sometimes in your career, if you make that mistake once, guess what? You're going to be way better the next time because you learned that lesson the hard way.
00:00:34:05 - 00:00:58:17
Tan Wilson
Hello listeners, and welcome to another Optimize podcast. Today we dive into the challenges of balancing entrepreneurship demands while embracing motherhood and family. As some of you who know me or follow me for the past 18 plus years, I'm more than just the president of intellect, but rather a fiercely vocal and loud lacrosse and sports mom. To Henry, my 13 year old who is my daddy?
00:00:58:17 - 00:01:22:02
Tan Wilson
Me. My life is a revolving door of sports and business travel, but I wouldn't change it for the world. We find ourselves weaving through many roles each day from being a patients or sometimes not so patient, nurturing parents to transforming into a decisive, resilient entrepreneur. We wear many hats and the transitions are nothing short of a well hers danced.
00:01:22:05 - 00:01:55:19
Tan Wilson
Today, we'll talk to a phenomenal woman and industry expert Martha Ellison, president and CEO of AB 923. She's a dynamo who has gracefully grown from being a client to a consultant and now a revered colleague. In my industry. As a mother of five, Martha encompasses a spirit that doesn't bend in the face of challenges. Our story is not just one of entrepreneurship and motherhood, but a relentless pursuit, unyielding love, and a robustly holistic approach to success.
00:01:55:21 - 00:02:19:26
Tan Wilson
So grab a drink, whether it's coffee, tea, Barbara Why? You never know what's a miyetti and take a moment for yourself and join us as we explore, empathize and celebrate the unsung victories of every parents and entrepreneur. I know many of you listen will be nodding and seeing a reflection of your own stories and ours. So welcome to two of the moms, A league of Their Own.
00:02:19:28 - 00:02:40:29
Tan Wilson
So welcome, Martha, to show you what I have known each other for a decades now, first as a client and then working together as a consultant and now as a colleague and who I would call a really good friend. So tell us briefly about yourself, why you start your business and the really inspiring name. M 923.
00:02:41:01 - 00:03:00:25
Martha Ellison
Sure. Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me on the podcast. It is a pleasure to have an opportunity to sit with you and talk about things that we talk about all the time in our regular day to day life. I am Martha Ellison, born and raised here in Northern Virginia, where I have lived my whole life.
00:03:00:25 - 00:03:25:13
Martha Ellison
I've never left. I'm one of the few who true Virginians, true Virginians. There's not a whole lot of us I. So career wise, if I were to go back to the beginning. Graduated college in the year 2000 and started working for a large government contractor very shortly thereafter. Really enjoyed my time. Immediately went and found myself as a contracts assistant.
00:03:25:13 - 00:03:42:29
Martha Ellison
Right. You want to talk about starting at the lowest of the low? My first job was really as a contracts assistant for a large government contractor. And it was just one of those things that I went to school. I was a majored in communications, did not plan to go into this line of business, as so many of us.
00:03:42:29 - 00:04:20:01
Martha Ellison
You know, I think I chatted with many people who have similar stories. So I worked for the large business for about six years. And then right as many women and parents face, when you have your first child trying to figure out, okay, what does that mean? Where do I go from here? So had six great years at that company where I really became an expert, moved up from my contracts assistant role to a senior contracts administrator in that six year period and really thrived know government contracts inside and out and learned the inside and inside and out of government pricing as well.
00:04:20:04 - 00:04:44:02
Martha Ellison
I really enjoyed my experience there. But having my first child, I thought, my goodness, there is no way I could continue on this corporate path. You know, I was having great success really doing well, but I sort of had to assess at what cost. So at that point for me, you know, it took a lot of soul searching and a lot of trying to find the right balance and the right structure for me.
00:04:44:05 - 00:05:04:22
Martha Ellison
I opted to go to a part time route for a period of time. So, you know, as I went into the the many different stages of parenthood, it led to this just self-discovery and this path of trying to find out what else is out there. I very much enjoyed by large business life. I very much enjoyed that corporate experience.
00:05:04:29 - 00:05:27:11
Martha Ellison
But really having my kiddos is what helped me sort of create this other world that I didn't even know existed. So I left my corporate job at the large business, went to work for a small business for a number of years that was very flexible and family friendly, and it was a delightful experi ance. We had super supportive management team.
00:05:27:11 - 00:05:48:16
Martha Ellison
It was great. So I think it was after the birth of my fourth child that you and I met back in 13. I think it was like about ten years ago where I really started getting involved more in the consulting life and I just loved it, you know, as somebody who just really enjoys learning new things and new opportunities.
00:05:48:19 - 00:06:12:14
Martha Ellison
It was for me from the moment I started it. Yes. So that was so that was sort of the path that led me to this new opportunity of, wow, could I do this myself on my own? So at that point, I had been in contracts, management and administration and pricing for about 12 years, and that was when I decided to essentially start taking the leap to work for myself.
00:06:12:16 - 00:06:19:29
Tan Wilson
Yeah, it's it's nice when you have. It's nice when you have balance and support, you know, not always nice.
00:06:19:29 - 00:06:24:09
Martha Ellison
When you have balance. The ever elusive thing for all of us to find, right?
00:06:24:11 - 00:06:45:08
Tan Wilson
Yep. Yep. It's the the never ending quest for balance. So, you know, before we get into our main topic of discussion here, because I've had so many different things that we want to talk about and you and I have like I call you for a ten minute quick conversation that turns into an hour and a half later. So time flies when we really do get together.
00:06:45:15 - 00:07:07:24
Tan Wilson
But, you know, let's before we get into the main discussion, let's think back about, you know, your college days. And I just celebrated my 30th college reunion this year, which I just can't even begin to fathom that. But how do you think those late nights and long days and nights of college kind of prepared you for like your business, or did it prepare you at all?
00:07:08:00 - 00:07:22:06
Martha Ellison
Well, I think. Right. Lack of sleep, that's one, right? Yes. You the late all nighters in college that were you would do or I think probably what I really learned is I am someone who functions on sleep. I don't do well with with not a lot of sleep.
00:07:22:08 - 00:07:24:27
Tan Wilson
So I was sort of me.
00:07:24:29 - 00:07:37:20
Martha Ellison
I know, I know. I'm the early morning one and you're the late night one always. But no, I was always the one in college and I was like, it's 1:00 in the morning. Nothing good is going to happen. I'm just going to take a cab and go home. And my friends will be like, Where did you go?
00:07:37:20 - 00:07:38:18
Martha Ellison
Because I needed my sleep.
00:07:38:18 - 00:07:40:24
Tan Wilson
Party started, started really getting.
00:07:40:27 - 00:07:42:25
Martha Ellison
Yeah. How about you?
00:07:42:27 - 00:08:04:17
Tan Wilson
Yeah. No, I was. The life doesn't start until 1 a.m., so. And it's it's still to this day, kind of like that. So you know the so the fun doesn't start because every day being a parent, it's, it's like, you know, waiting to see whether or not you're going with the Powerball lottery. We live on the edge. Licensed full of unexpected small victories.
00:08:04:23 - 00:08:19:09
Tan Wilson
Classic mom fails. Trust me, somebody's mom bails sometimes. So the mommy guilt, you know, share with us maybe something invaluable that you learned from one of your mom fails that kind of helped in your business.
00:08:19:11 - 00:08:51:09
Martha Ellison
I think if you eat well, I would say that the probably the biggest lesson I learned is don't take yourself too seriously. You know, it really at the end of the day, you're going to make mistakes. And that's just part of the process of being a human being and forgive yourself and give yourself grace. In those moments. I can think of one specific actually two specific examples that jump out at me, things that write mom fails that you learn that then carry over into the end not taking yourself too seriously, or b just really being your authentic self, which is very important to me.
00:08:51:11 - 00:09:12:05
Martha Ellison
I remember one of my kids, it was actually I remember exactly just my son, Cooper, who's now 14. It was the day before his first day of kindergarten. I was pregnant with my fifth and I got a call from the teacher the day before to introduce us and to give us very clear instructions of, you know, this is the sticker you need to put on his bag.
00:09:12:10 - 00:09:23:23
Martha Ellison
I can remember if I think it had been mailed to us. And so I put it on his bag so we know how he goes home. The first day of school, literally the day before. Okay. And I was like, Great, I got this, no problem.
00:09:24:00 - 00:09:24:16
Tan Wilson
I'm all alone.
00:09:24:17 - 00:09:42:20
Martha Ellison
But I want and I forget the first day of school, I completely forgot to put this tag on my kindergartner so that he knew which best to get on. So they knew how to send him home. And I was like, you know, I guess it's just best that this teacher knows who I am right from the start. No sense putting on airs, right?
00:09:42:20 - 00:09:47:18
Martha Ellison
It's going to mess up from day one. And the good news is he did he did make it out.
00:09:47:20 - 00:10:11:14
Tan Wilson
Yeah. So and I think that's I think that's so key. Right. And it's so hard to teach the young professionals is that you're going to mess up and sometimes you're going to mess up really bad and you have to really kind of own it, sit and understand that discomfort or maybe the consequence of what you did and move on, dust yourself off and move on.
00:10:11:14 - 00:10:25:24
Tan Wilson
Because if you strive for perfection, you will fail at every single turn. And so I like to always say, be kind to yourself, be kind to others, and be kind to yourself because you might actually be in that situation another time.
00:10:25:26 - 00:10:46:24
Martha Ellison
So absolutely. And I think you the most growth and learning that happens is through failures, is through mistakes that happen. Obviously, nobody wants to make the big, huge mistake. But sometimes in your career, if you make that mistake once, guess what? You're going to be way better the next time because you learned that lesson the hard way and it really sticks with you and resonates with you.
00:10:46:27 - 00:11:19:14
Tan Wilson
Absolutely. Absolutely. So, you know, I always kind of equate starting a business is like raising a birthing your own child. And it's, you know, our business is our baby. We you know, a lot of people feel that way. We talk about that. And so can you dive in a little bit? I know that you in your intro, there are a couple of motivating factors why you started your business, but what are you really hoping to kind of do besides provide top not support for your customers?
00:11:19:17 - 00:11:43:24
Tan Wilson
Is it financial security? Is it more flexibility? And I think as your business matures, it does kind of evolve a little bit. So what really kind of, you know, spark spark that that like what was that pivotal moment that you're like, okay, I'm doing it. I'm going to go out and hang out shingle because it takes a lot of courage to do that, especially when you're coming from a corporate world.
00:11:43:27 - 00:12:15:02
Martha Ellison
Absolutely. And I think for me, it was a combination of factors. I always enjoyed working. I have always enjoyed the challenge of learning new things. So going from that large business corporate world where you you become a subject matter expert in a very specific area. So then transferring to a small business where you get to wear a lot of different apps, which I found really appealing, you know, I was I was very grateful to have had the expertise early in my career so that I had something that I was really good at.
00:12:15:08 - 00:12:38:11
Martha Ellison
But now to be able to take those skills and expand on them was appealing to me. So I think what really drove it for me from a well, I probably two or three reasons, but the number one thing is I love to learn new things. To me, the idea of hanging my own shingle, finding my own clients to do the work that I find interesting was wildly appealing to me.
00:12:38:13 - 00:12:57:09
Martha Ellison
And second of all, though, the flexibility, having that flexibility as my family grew to take the work that I wanted to do and to do the things that I wanted to do was fantastic. So one thing I think that really just helped me take the leap was you need to do an assessment and a reality check of what your skills are, right?
00:12:57:09 - 00:13:27:27
Martha Ellison
It isn't for everybody. To your point, it takes a lot of courage and I think it takes a certain kind of personality. So you need everything to be stable and predictable and everything all the time. It might not be the life for you, but if you enjoy the excitement and the adventure of learning new things on a flexible schedule, you know, and according to what you're interested in, I think just from a life satisfaction and value, it is just an amazing thing.
00:13:27:29 - 00:13:48:18
Martha Ellison
So yeah, so, so it is to your point, why did I do it? It was a combination of things. I love learning new things. I love the flexibility for my family that it afforded, you know, and it's just the freedom, you know, to be able to pick and choose and to work the work that you like doing. Because I think when you're doing the work that your passionate about, you're going to deliver great value to your clients.
00:13:48:21 - 00:14:29:03
Tan Wilson
Exactly. And I think that's one of the things that is very attractive and why you and I are so attracted to working together is that we both bring that same excitement, that same passion to what we do, and it resonates through our work product. And our customers really, you know, find that as a one of the intrinsic values that we bring not only are we, you know, steep in understanding our industry, it's that we're technically competent people that, you know, that we're subject matter experts and and really have produced wonderful results for our customers.
00:14:29:03 - 00:14:54:18
Tan Wilson
But that we have that's constant need. I also want to say like a super competitive need, right? Like you and I are so, so competitive people that you would think that two competitive people put together would be explosive of lay, you know, you know, against each other. But we are super competitive together, which is I think pretty fantastic combination as well.
00:14:54:18 - 00:15:17:02
Martha Ellison
And I would say to yes wholeheartedly, yes, I agree with you. And I think part of what makes us working together so great is we have different areas of expertise, right? So we bring that same passion and that same vision, but in a slightly different line of work, which allows it to be very complementary. So I think that is a big component of why we've been able to work well together.
00:15:17:05 - 00:15:47:16
Tan Wilson
While you are to me, very inspiring in your need to always be a better person, always to understand the industry better. You are a much better learner than I am about things. And so I'm constantly learning from you about things in the industry, things that, you know, I would have never have thought to even ask questions about. And so that that whole need to always kind of, you know, learn more, be more, be better.
00:15:47:18 - 00:16:06:12
Tan Wilson
And one of the things that I really like about how you've grown your business is that you're very intentional and very strategic. Your business has kind of more of your your values of more of a We've talked about that a lot. So talk to me about like, you know, do you wake up one morning to be like, I'm just going to strategically do this?
00:16:06:12 - 00:16:24:14
Tan Wilson
Or do you ponder for, you know, like days, weeks, months about this? Because you have a path that you want to take your business. And it's it's it's a very commendable path and it's so disciplined that sometimes I'm like, well, I need I need to learn more because I'm not as disciplined as you are about this.
00:16:24:17 - 00:16:46:01
Martha Ellison
Well, I will say I have to be disciplined. Right. You know, that is one of the challenges that I have with having a large, awesome, rambunctious family that I have, is I do have to be very intentional with the time that I have. So it is very important to me. Each year I'm mapping out, okay, what are my goals for my business this year?
00:16:46:01 - 00:17:04:03
Martha Ellison
What am I hoping to learn? What am I hoping to be? Where do we want to go next with the business? Absolutely. Because for me, I don't have the time to get down a path and be like, I know this is not the right path for me. I got to back up and realign. I can't do it.
00:17:04:03 - 00:17:28:07
Martha Ellison
But I find for me it works much better if each year I'm sort of saying, okay, these are the top three things I want to try to accomplish this year. And yeah, I think discipline is a huge component of it for me. I have this very regimented morning routine. I'm huge into this personal growth and development. I could talk for days on that stuff, but I think also right, it's respecting your personality.
00:17:28:09 - 00:17:38:02
Martha Ellison
You bring so many other things to the table. Remember when we did a few years ago, we did the Clifton Strengths Challenge, not the challenge the test the IT, which.
00:17:38:02 - 00:17:39:23
Tan Wilson
Is I love Clifton strengths.
00:17:39:25 - 00:17:57:06
Martha Ellison
For those who aren't familiar with it, it is a framework essentially for leadership skills for different folks. And you can take these quizzes and it's sort of at the end of this quiz, it will give you a report about this is what you're really good at based on these results. And you know what? My number one thing is?
00:17:57:09 - 00:18:03:01
Martha Ellison
I'm a learner right now, so. Right. It just it's just how I'm wired. It's just who I am.
00:18:03:03 - 00:18:26:10
Tan Wilson
Yeah. I'm going to have to dig up my t shirts, remember, like we make t shirts for with all of our strengths on there. But I think my primary one was that I think I like the visionary which is so suited about me and the skills back too. But some of the points that you made at the beginning of why you started your business, because it was good for you.
00:18:26:13 - 00:18:50:29
Tan Wilson
And I think that's really kind of one of those really important things, is that we all kind of come to this life of being an entrepreneur or a business owner or a parent or whatever, for so many vastly different reasons. But staying authentic to your goals, your dreams, what gets you out of bed every day? What really kind of drives you, what your passions are, is really kind of important.
00:18:50:29 - 00:19:14:28
Tan Wilson
And to not let other people influence your business decisions and your personal decisions so much that you're you're not living your authentic best life. And so there had to have been influential moments. And I know that I've pressed you about like, Martha, we need to do this because, you know, I'm always coming up with new initiatives, new ideas.
00:19:14:28 - 00:19:49:18
Tan Wilson
And for me, my challenge is to kind of really kind of continue that and and put some reins on it and stay focused sometimes on things. But I frustrate you, and I know that there probably have, other than people, two spouses, family members, your children. my God, the mommy guilt alone about, you know, making changes of how have you been able to manage that challenge of being authentic, strategic and attentional when there's so many other external factors that kind of, you know, impact all of that?
00:19:49:20 - 00:20:09:10
Martha Ellison
It isn't easy. You know, you with the best laid intentions, it is a daily intentional choice. You know, as I mentioned earlier, I have this crazy morning routine that I've been doing for about five years now, probably probably around the same time, actually, probably even before I started my business, I think I was doing this where I am setting my intentions.
00:20:09:10 - 00:20:31:21
Martha Ellison
I am actively thinking about it on a daily basis, Right. I think for me, keeping my life order in the way that's important to me allows me to be my authentic self. So whether it is, you know, if you believe in a higher power, for me, it's God first and then my spouse and then my family and then my friends, right.
00:20:31:22 - 00:20:52:16
Martha Ellison
And then work. And it doesn't mean that work never is the top priority of the day. It just means I'm doing that check in on a daily basis. It is a this is who I am. This is what I'm going to try to focus on. Right. I might write down one day, you know, if I'm going through each of those to keep them in order, I want to make sure I hug my kids every day, each one of them, and tell them I love them.
00:20:52:16 - 00:21:15:00
Martha Ellison
Right. Something like that. That just allows me to keep all the right things in the right order. It isn't easy, but I try to make it a daily intentional focus of mine to sort of stay on track. But going back to something that you said before. Right. The I think one thing when you were asking me about starting my own business, one component that I skipped that I think is very important.
00:21:15:06 - 00:21:34:24
Martha Ellison
I mentioned assessing your own skills and whether you think you'd be suited for it. The other piece that helps you get the courage to do it, frankly, is to find a mentor, right? For me, we've talked about this before. You were that mentor. For me, that really was just, you know, you had been you know, you're finding somebody that sort of a few years ahead of you that's done what it is that you want to do.
00:21:35:00 - 00:21:51:21
Martha Ellison
So you can sort of look and say, well, I can see how it's done right then you can sort of vision, you know, and envision yourself doing the same thing. So I think we had numerous conversations along the way where I was sort of dabbling in independent consulting, and you were very encouraging and you were just just do it.
00:21:51:21 - 00:22:03:28
Martha Ellison
Just go do it right. And I think having that friendship and that mentorship, somebody who was just a little further along than you are, who's done it was a huge a huge jump in the right direction.
00:22:04:01 - 00:22:28:02
Tan Wilson
So they appreciate that. You're very welcome. It's nice to always kind of come full circle on things and your journey is not done, which is fantastic. Right? And I actually plugged in with one of my one of my mentors this morning on thing. She called me about some random topic and I said, you know, we really need to kind of circle back and finish a conversation that we had because I really need to kind of pick this brain.
00:22:28:02 - 00:22:51:25
Tan Wilson
I'm like, I really want to be like, you, you know, when I grow up. And so I have goals and I still have things. So I kind of want to do, even though at the present moment it's so much fun kind of doing what I'm doing because I feel like I'm going to be in the moment. I think the hardest thing, especially when you're in this business, is to kind of stay present and a lot of things that what you said is really kind of what I equate to being present, being in the now.
00:22:51:25 - 00:23:11:21
Tan Wilson
And I know that, you know, John, my husband has said this to me many times. We've gone through every evolution of I hate the fact that you have your old business to this is fantastic, that you have your business. You know, it's a love hate relationship with spouses and children about your business and that it's so much of me because we put so much of ourselves into this.
00:23:11:21 - 00:23:32:20
Tan Wilson
But staying really grounded and having your family and especially your spouse to really kind of say, be present, be with me, be now. And that was really, really difficult for me. That was one of the challenges that I have because I so enjoy being out there. I so enjoy what I do and that you have to realize that why am I doing this right?
00:23:32:20 - 00:23:54:23
Tan Wilson
Am I doing this? You know, obviously some of it is for self-fulfillment, for, you know, like there are certain things that I need to do for myself that not only, you know, I am more than just a spouse, I'm more than just a mom, that this is something that is for me and I think sometimes, especially women in particular, we feel very selfish when we do things for ourselves.
00:23:54:26 - 00:24:19:28
Tan Wilson
And we we can't we have to take moments, you know, you run and do other things for yourself. Me, I probably should run, should walk to be more active. But we are all about a good glass of bourbon, binge watch a couple of reality TV shows, you know, different things like that. That's kind of how like I applaud because I'm always so on the go.
00:24:19:28 - 00:24:32:23
Tan Wilson
I'm always so engaged with other people. It's nice to just kind of be quiet and be with my own inner thoughts for a while, which is not, which is, I think, a place where it took me a while to get to that point, though.
00:24:32:26 - 00:24:46:05
Martha Ellison
Sure. And so let me ask you a question. So when were there times where you were traveling so much where your spouse brought it to your attention and you're like reevaluating and sort of like, okay, you know, that makes sense. I'm going to kind of course, correct? Yes.
00:24:46:08 - 00:25:10:16
Tan Wilson
You know, it's never when I travel. And I think it's because and I don't know if it's like this with you guys, but when I travel, Henry has a very different relationship with John. And so I think it's a good thing for me to kind of extract myself so that they know how to operate without me, right? Yes, I am the bane and like of Henry's existence sometimes it's like he is to blame for this, right?
00:25:10:21 - 00:25:28:29
Tan Wilson
I can't find this. Yes. I can't play this because Mom did this or I, you know, like I had a maybe fail thing to like, you know, while I was gone. Apparently, Henry could find something for one of his games, and I was like, God forbid. You know, he should not be as well like it someone his jersey or something for a game.
00:25:29:06 - 00:25:47:13
Tan Wilson
And I was three time zones away from him at the present moment. But somehow I was going to be able to recall exactly where it was and why he didn't have it at that time. And so it's not when I'm away. I think it's more when I'm home. And I think when you're home and you work for yourself.
00:25:47:15 - 00:26:08:03
Tan Wilson
Yeah, there's there's a difficulty of understanding that there's a boundary, that there's a line, there's an expectation that even though I'm physically present, I can't mentally always be present at that present moment. And so I think that's the that's probably the biggest challenge is when I'm close by and I'm really not close by, I'm a little bit, you know, removed.
00:26:08:05 - 00:26:09:11
Tan Wilson
Yeah, at that time.
00:26:09:11 - 00:26:25:15
Martha Ellison
You make sense. Well, I think you're right. I think that that is when I'm saying, like on that daily basis you're doing that check in because it's a course correction every day. Right. It's to say, hey, you may talk to your partner and you guys agree. Like for me, these are conversations that happen in my house all the time.
00:26:25:17 - 00:26:42:08
Martha Ellison
I've got this new client. Here's what it would mean. Here's what it would look like for our family. Do we think this is a good idea? Those are regular conversations at our house, right? Because I'm trying to keep everything order. And, you know, there are times when thankfully my husband's a huge supporter and it's absolutely go do it.
00:26:42:08 - 00:26:57:20
Martha Ellison
And he if he needs to cook the dinner, he will if he needs to pick up the kids, he will. You know, I think all of that. But I think. Right. It's doing that check in and that constant reassessment of am I on the right path? So I might set goals on an annual basis basis, but then I'm reevaluating them all the time.
00:26:57:21 - 00:27:10:07
Martha Ellison
Does this make sense for our family? Does this make sense today? Because, you know, continuing to grow the company and try to hit these goals makes sense. So it's a constant check in and reevaluation, but totally worth it.
00:27:10:10 - 00:27:40:07
Tan Wilson
Yeah. So it's a delicate balance, Right? And again, we go back to balance. If one part of our life is out of balance, so as so is the other part. And so I think in this and you know me, I'm a huge techie, but in this world of high technology and everything, moving at the speed of light and being able to do this and do that, you know, this this whole fallacy of being able to like, have it all and do it all, I, I don't buy it.
00:27:40:07 - 00:28:00:17
Tan Wilson
I've never bought into that just because something does fall off. You can't keep all of this juggling at a subhuman kind of level. So do you think it's a myth or a reality, or is there a way for us to kind of like have it all?
00:28:00:19 - 00:28:27:13
Martha Ellison
So I think it depends on how you define have it all right. And I think that's as individual to each person as anything can be. So I think in terms of having it all, if it means that I am sitting down and mapping out the life that I want and the goals I want to hit, yes, I do think that you can have it all, but no, you cannot be a full time.
00:28:27:18 - 00:28:46:21
Martha Ellison
And I'll go with what I think is the traditional definition of having it all. Do I? Right. You can be, you know, an A-plus business owner and an A-plus spouse and an A-plus mom and an A-plus friend and an A-plus daughter. Right. And an A-plus, whatever other hat you're wearing all at the same time. Not a chance. No way.
00:28:46:24 - 00:29:05:01
Martha Ellison
But I think when you are looking at it holistically, again, for me, it's keeping everything in the right order, Right. So that might mean you know, it might mean that something that's a higher priority for me gets a smaller, you know, amount of my attention on a given day because something lower on the priority needs to be bumped up.
00:29:05:03 - 00:29:12:06
Martha Ellison
But in that sense, I think there is a possibility to have it all. But you can't be A-plus at all the things all the time.
00:29:12:06 - 00:29:50:11
Tan Wilson
Yeah, yeah, I agree with you. And yeah, and I think it all comes down to just really kind of like setting boundaries, boundaries with customers, boundaries with your family. And I think that's something that we're all challenged with, is establishing respecting boundaries, both personally, professionally and, you know, being a parent and a business owner sometimes, you know, like often, you know, we have to be very, very flexible sometimes, but flexible to a certain extent, to the point where we're still kind of intentional and what we do and authentic and what we do.
00:29:50:14 - 00:30:14:16
Tan Wilson
And so I think flexibility is sometimes a term that can kind of morph into like different meetings at different stages, and there's different roles that we kind of play in our lives. So for some it might mean like you said, you know, like spending more time with your family or traveling or, you know, spending more time on, you know, some like with me, like some big business initiative because I don't do anything on a small scale.
00:30:14:16 - 00:30:41:16
Tan Wilson
I got to go do things like, you know, others dynamic, you know, giant scale. But it it might translate into, you know, other liberties and flexibilities that you, you know, that are unique to you. So can you kind of share some of your like, evolving definitions and experience with flexibility, you know, as your family has grown and is growing no more.
00:30:41:16 - 00:30:59:15
Tan Wilson
So I'm just going put that out there just in case the viewers are like, no, we're tap it out of five here. But as your company kind of grows, because I know you want to grow your business into you know, a different world. So how do you establish and maintain those boundaries and how do you define that flexibility?
00:30:59:17 - 00:31:21:27
Martha Ellison
Well, it is to your point, it's not an easy thing to do. And it's a lesson. Still, as a woman in my forties, I'm still learning. However, a lesson that I'm learning right now. I'm in a season of life right now where I'm working more more than I have been before. Again, intentionally chosen, right? Working through all the goals that we have in my life for myself, for my company, for my family, all of those things.
00:31:21:29 - 00:31:50:27
Martha Ellison
I'm just in a phase. Or the past year it's been a lot more work. So to your point though, with certain clients, when you're not putting up boundaries and you're not necessarily staying true to your vision and your path, here's what I found. You end up unhappy not liking the work that you're doing, whether it's because someone has kind of guilted you into that or because you've known them a long time, you really want to help out, even though it doesn't align with where you want to go, which is, you know, right?
00:31:50:27 - 00:32:10:11
Martha Ellison
You want to help people out. You want to be doing the right thing and being flexible. Sure. Give me a call. You know, so flexibility is important, but when you get that call out of the blue and you really can't take on this initiative or this work, being able to put that boundary up and saying, yeah, now's not a really good time, but I know somebody else who can help you.
00:32:10:11 - 00:32:31:00
Martha Ellison
And providing that referral, I think that that is really important and from the boundary perspective because I definitely have taken on work and accepted work and working with, you know, my staff and my folks where I, my heart wasn't in it and it showed and it just really impacted me enjoyment of the work that I was doing.
00:32:31:03 - 00:32:54:08
Tan Wilson
Yeah. And unfortunately, I've been on the receiving end of your nose a few times and but at the end of the day, though, I truly value that honesty and that candor. And I think that's one of the two traits that you and I share is that we're always going to be very honest with you and candid regardless of whether or not you want to hear it.
00:32:54:08 - 00:33:17:20
Tan Wilson
But it's the best and the right thing to say. You know, like at that time and so there's a subtle yet like potent power to like, say, no, which many of us learn kind of the hard way, especially when we're empathetic entrepreneurs and parents like like you and I. However, you know, as mom and as a parent, it's it's really easy sometimes I think, to say no.
00:33:17:23 - 00:33:28:18
Tan Wilson
Like, you know, every once in a while, like, I'll be I'll be like, it depends. And so when Henry hears the it depends. He's like, that's a no, isn't it? I was like, It depends.
00:33:28:18 - 00:33:30:19
Martha Ellison
I noticed that things have made me.
00:33:30:21 - 00:33:54:25
Tan Wilson
Yeah, yeah, exactly right. But, you know, let's kind of dive a little deeper into like, the boundaries and mastering the art of of no, because saying it can really be kind of liberating. And I think at the end of the day, customers really respect that. But sometimes no doesn't mean no, no, like mean go somewhere else or consider something else.
00:33:55:02 - 00:34:23:00
Tan Wilson
And so there's always kind of always trying to find that silver lining when I say no, that it's like, no, we shouldn't do this or No, we can't do this. Or No, I'm not. However, you know, there's another alternative to it. So how do you weigh the different opportunities that come to you when they when they, you know, don't align and have you really kind of developed that unique way of saying, you know, of saying no.
00:34:23:03 - 00:34:40:06
Martha Ellison
I would say and I'm going to back up just a minute to to touch on your question earlier about flexibility and then go into that. Right. So sort of my process and thinking through all of these things, I set goals for the year and then I'm taking on new work or growing in alignment with those goals. However, right.
00:34:40:06 - 00:35:05:19
Martha Ellison
As I mentioned, reassessing that routinely allows you to remain flexible. So to your point, if opportunities come up, I can then take that in and say, Well, these are my goals, this doesn't exactly fit. But here's why that could make sense. So I took on a job right now that I hadn't planned for necessarily, but I have a nonprofit that is on my list of things that I want to start here in the short term.
00:35:05:25 - 00:35:24:03
Martha Ellison
So that is in my mind and where my my path is headed, which I'm very excited about when an opportunity presented itself so that I could take on a client to do this work for them, that really has sort of stretched me. So it's allowed me to learn more about that space that I want to head into. I didn't plan for it.
00:35:24:03 - 00:35:42:20
Martha Ellison
I didn't see it coming, but I remained flexible and said, Yeah, this actually makes a lot of sense for me right now. Think of all these great opportunities again, being flexible took the job. Now what does it mean? It means right now I'm working more, as I mentioned earlier, than I had been or had intended to at this particular juncture in my life.
00:35:42:23 - 00:36:04:04
Martha Ellison
But again, assess in looking at your goals, being flexible, adjusting, saying yes to that opportunity. Now, it's been a great opportunity for me, but it also means to your point, now I'm getting some calls about some other work. My team is mostly maxed out right now and I'm having that great discussion of is now a growth period for me, right.
00:36:04:05 - 00:36:23:23
Martha Ellison
You know, so is it can I put all my attention on these things that are my goals and grow right now? And, you know, maybe the answer right now is not yet right. Not yet. No, not right. This second, let's reevaluate and reassess maybe in two or three months. But yeah, trying to say no and put up boundaries in the business world.
00:36:23:25 - 00:36:41:03
Martha Ellison
It's tricky, especially when it's somebody you've known for 15 years who calls you up and they're like, You're the best person I know for this. I really need you. And I just, you know, I always try to find somebody on my team. We always try to juggle and make sure we can accommodate it. However, it doesn't always work.
00:36:41:03 - 00:37:06:07
Martha Ellison
And I think one of the most awesome things about that, though, and something I know that you can relate to is you find this network of really amazing people when you jump into this entrepreneurial world. At least that's been my experience and I think that that is quite honestly one of the best hidden blessings out of this whole experience in the first place are just the amazing people that you meet, right?
00:37:06:11 - 00:37:28:11
Martha Ellison
The the just people in all areas of expertise. They might even do the same thing that you do a similar, you know, work. But what I found is there's enough work out there for everyone. Everyone, if you're good at what you're good at your job and good at what you do, there's enough work so I don't have to do all the pieces If it doesn't make sense or align with my goals.
00:37:28:11 - 00:37:52:23
Martha Ellison
Right now, I can say no and say, But I know this really other amazing person that can, you know, or company that can fill in for this gap. And. Right. You've been on we've done this where I can't take this right now. I'm going to refer you to them. And then vice versa. And it just creates this beautiful ecosystem that I never would have known existed if I hadn't taken the leap and jumped into entrepreneurship.
00:37:52:26 - 00:38:16:29
Tan Wilson
Yeah. Now I love my people, my peeps, as I like to call them. So yeah, absolutely. There's a good network out there. So, you know, closing out our conversation here, this has been so fantastic. But you know, being a boy, mom, I am a huge superhero fan. And so I got like I've got a couple like questions for you.
00:38:16:29 - 00:38:22:13
Tan Wilson
So if you had a superpower, what would it be?
00:38:22:16 - 00:38:23:29
Martha Ellison
00:38:24:01 - 00:38:29:16
Tan Wilson
And you can tie it to an actual, like, superhero, Like you get bonus points for that too.
00:38:29:19 - 00:38:50:11
Martha Ellison
Okay. Well, I'll tell you, because I did do so, I'm part of the National Contract Management Association and Cigna. And last year I spoke at one of their conferences in the leadership debate, chapter leaders pre-conference conference, and they had us choose a superhero and a superpower. And this one really resonated with me. That would apply in your business life, right?
00:38:50:11 - 00:39:05:19
Martha Ellison
So I'll get here with one because while I think flying would be super cool, I'm not going to lie. I think I didn't know how practical it would be. You know, I can't put five kids on my back and, you know, go fly off somewhere. I love the one of that is in Encanto.
00:39:05:21 - 00:39:06:19
Tan Wilson
Yes.
00:39:06:21 - 00:39:20:23
Martha Ellison
So the the cousin Dolores from Encanto, she's the one with the super listening skills. that one for me, as a mom of a lot of teenagers right now and as a business owner. Right. Just that.
00:39:20:23 - 00:39:21:10
Tan Wilson
Does.
00:39:21:12 - 00:39:33:28
Martha Ellison
Try to listen and listen well and to hear people. I think that is such an important superpower. You know, frankly, the flying is cool, but I think I'd go with that. Yeah, how about you?
00:39:34:01 - 00:39:54:07
Tan Wilson
So I don't think Loris is an actual superhero, but that is a superhero power right now. Yes. Yes. So, you know, I think it depends on like the day and what challenges I'm currently facing. But I think I want to be Doctor Strange right now. So Doctor Strange is really kind of cool, right?
00:39:54:07 - 00:39:59:26
Martha Ellison
He's the he's my favorite of all the Marvel movies, right? I like Doctor Strange.
00:39:59:29 - 00:40:13:21
Tan Wilson
Yeah. He's a hard pill to swallow. he's a little quirky. He's got a little bit of a dry sense of humor. So I think I'm going to I'm going to pick Doctor Strange. That's kind of a I'm feeling a doctor strange type of way right now, so.
00:40:13:22 - 00:40:16:06
Martha Ellison
Okay, but why? What is it about it?
00:40:16:09 - 00:40:39:18
Tan Wilson
I, I, I think it's just the, the him to be able to kind of like travel to different dimensions and the kind of see things because I see and plan things in a three dimensional kind of way. So I'm always kind of looking at things from like a chessboard. If I do this, then this impacts this. But I go back and tweak this and do it this way.
00:40:39:20 - 00:40:58:26
Tan Wilson
Then that would, you know, be able to help me succeed here. And so I think that's the reason why what we do it at intellect really well as we work on those very big strategic type of efforts where there's a lot of moving parts, there might be politics involved, there might be, you know, might be 30% of your revenue.
00:40:58:26 - 00:41:08:27
Tan Wilson
And so there's like that anxiety of all of that. So being that counselor, being that strategist, to me, that that's kind of what gets me really excited and passionate about.
00:41:08:27 - 00:41:11:03
Martha Ellison
So that makes complete sense.
00:41:11:08 - 00:41:30:08
Tan Wilson
Yeah, exactly. So if you were to tell your younger self or a new up and coming professional who wants to get into business or someone who's starting out their own company, like what one piece of advice would you give them? Well, there's so many.
00:41:30:10 - 00:41:53:24
Martha Ellison
Yes, I can only pick one. I mean, I can do like three steps, right Like, I think knowing yourself is so important in being honest, honestly, assessing who you are, what your skills are and what you like doing. I mean, because I think so many of us end up down a path that we don't love that and that doesn't necessarily align with who we are.
00:41:54:01 - 00:42:16:08
Martha Ellison
That when you can really whether it's through coaching, whether it's through, you know, just personal assessment, knowing who you are, what your skills at and what are the things that bring you joy in your life, you know, and so that you can kind of set your life up to do those things, to do more of those things. I think you'll find success in your personal life and in your professional life, you know, exponentially.
00:42:16:10 - 00:42:57:10
Tan Wilson
Exactly. Exactly. So, well, this is like a fantastic conversation. There's so many takeaways. And so I think some of the takeaways is the juggle is real, but also rewarding. At the same time, being flexible is kind of your shape shifting type of ally embracing. The No, I think is my all time favorite too. This continuous evaluation, a real event just to kind of stay relevant, but then being able to kind morph not only your expertise into just kind of like being your authentic self, which I think is is really kind of difficult sometimes that we all kind of have challenges with.
00:42:57:12 - 00:43:04:14
Martha Ellison
Absolutely. Absolutely. So before Equality Session, I agree with all of you right.
00:43:04:16 - 00:43:22:21
Tan Wilson
And so before we slide off, I'm going to play like a really quick round of rapid breath with you. Like I love to riff being scripted or something that I super hates. If you ever want to, you know, page me, just give me a script and say, You've got to follow the script. So but like, let's, let's riff off, let's do a rapid riff off.
00:43:22:21 - 00:43:37:00
Tan Wilson
So I'm going to say, I'm going to ask you a couple questions, just one one or two words in response, and we'll just kind of like blow through this real quick. So what's your antidote for stress.
00:43:37:03 - 00:43:39:00
Martha Ellison
Exercise.
00:43:39:03 - 00:43:54:23
Tan Wilson
New, that one. It's like we could play like the Newlywed Game. Like I know the answers before you're going to say it. What's your thought when you wake up in the morning? Or better yet, what was your thought? What was your thought when you woke up this morning?
00:43:54:26 - 00:44:18:03
Martha Ellison
crap, I have to do this podcast. I'm really excited about it, but I am like, right. I was telling you earlier how I was trying to prepare and read through and my house utter chaos. I had kids over here playing chess, which you think would be a quiet game who are like screaming and wrestling each other. And then I've got my husband is playing Alphabet Go fish with my youngest, and they're like laughing hysterically.
00:44:18:06 - 00:44:30:02
Martha Ellison
My 15 year old daughter is in there messing with the kids, playing chess, so I did not get to prepare as much as I would have liked to because that's my reality. So that was my thought. When I look at this morning.
00:44:30:04 - 00:44:32:18
Tan Wilson
I think that was more than one or two words. But I will.
00:44:32:25 - 00:44:35:04
Martha Ellison
Sorry. How about. crap.
00:44:35:07 - 00:44:42:25
Tan Wilson
Yeah, there you go. And I already know this one, but, you know, are you a morning person or night out like me?
00:44:42:27 - 00:44:44:29
Martha Ellison
Morning person. Don't.
00:44:44:29 - 00:44:48:09
Tan Wilson
You should try the dark side every once in a while. I'll try it every once in a while.
00:44:48:11 - 00:45:04:12
Martha Ellison
They literally can't stay awake. So in our house, the arrangement is this. I will drive any kid anywhere. Right? And I've got in the morning now. I will drive them early up until like 9:00. And after that I'm like, You got to do it. I'm I'm out. So. Yeah. No, not a night person at all.
00:45:04:14 - 00:45:28:00
Tan Wilson
That's funny. Yeah. In our house, it's the same way. So John's got the early morning football practice. He's got the early morning tutoring sessions. I'm like, I have no idea what it looks like, nor do I really care to find out what it looks like. I'm on my way. Yeah. No, like, I know you've seen, like, emails from me as you're waking up that I had to send to you before I went to bed.
00:45:28:00 - 00:45:30:02
Tan Wilson
So don't expect the proper response from you.
00:45:30:04 - 00:45:31:25
Martha Ellison
But I know you gone to bed yet.
00:45:31:27 - 00:45:38:14
Tan Wilson
Yeah, though. So, Wallace and I know you don't do those very often, but what was the last TV show that you watched?
00:45:38:17 - 00:45:46:13
Martha Ellison
Now, I don't watch a lot of TV. Let's see. I am late catching up on only murders in the building and Ted Lasso.
00:45:46:15 - 00:45:53:08
Tan Wilson
only where I was in the building that is. That had antique show. I have not seen that. Like this new season yet. So no spoilers.
00:45:53:10 - 00:45:56:08
Martha Ellison
I think I'm only on. I think I'm on season two. I'm behind.
00:45:56:11 - 00:46:12:12
Tan Wilson
Okay. So you'll have to catch up. I won't. We're in it for you and I know that we talked about this during the pandemic, and I want to see whether or not it's the same answer that you're going to give me this time. But what city would you live in if you left Virginia?
00:46:12:14 - 00:46:27:19
Martha Ellison
I think I'd go to Colorado somewhere in the mountains. I No, it's fine. Yes, because I talked about moving to a ski resort for the year. I was like, I can't stay here while the schools are shut down. We're going somewhere else. But then, yeah, it worked out. I didn't have to move.
00:46:27:21 - 00:46:52:07
Tan Wilson
Yes, yes. Now. So. Well, anyway, where would I live? I'm living it right now. So, you know, being an expat for the last year and a half, I am truly a Texan. I have come to realize that my heart is here. The people in Texas are by people. I am more relaxed. I enjoy life a whole lot more.
00:46:52:07 - 00:47:06:05
Tan Wilson
I don't know. It's because Henry is older or if it's because the weather is warmer, I'm always in the t shirt flip flops and shorts. So like that is my everyday life. So I think that's actually where I need to be.
00:47:06:07 - 00:47:09:29
Martha Ellison
That's fantastic. Well, we miss you here, but I'm glad you're happy there.
00:47:10:02 - 00:47:48:14
Tan Wilson
Yes, I miss everyone too. So this has been fun, so informative. We've wandered through so many, like intricate lanes of entrepreneurship, parenting Unearthing treasures hidden in our challenges. We've shared some funny stories and insightful stories. I want to express a huge, heartfelt thanks to you, Martha, for generously spilling the beans on your journey and your passion. And there's no doubt that I know our listeners have pocketed a few nuggets of treasure to kind of ponder on from today's chat that our conversation isn't merely like a cascade of tales, it's a crafting of community.
00:47:48:14 - 00:48:07:25
Tan Wilson
Like you said, it's a journey where you know, where each parent, entrepreneur and everyone to kind of look in the mirror, reflect our own journeys and victories. And a lot of these hurdles and discussions that we've had today. So curious of the chaos, unplanned joys, and to those silent, cherished victories that we share in our hearts and and on LinkedIn.
00:48:07:28 - 00:48:35:28
Tan Wilson
But channeling the spirit of Helen Reddy, remember, we're strong, we're invisible, and we're women juggling and navigating, sometimes precariously trotting through the tightrope of life and business and isn't it a splendid spectacle when it's unforeseen trips that agile recoveries? So that's a wrap. UPS keep sharing, sipping and strategizing. And remember, the secret ingredient is genuine connections and a glass of bourbon infused with a generous splash of wit.
00:48:36:00 - 00:48:37:11
Martha Ellison
I love it. Thank you for having me.